Oddly Enough

It’s funny how words change in meaning. A 1990 fashion headline tells us, Givenchy and Valentino Revel in Luxury. Now, the 2007 photo caption below informs us, Revellers wrestle in chocolate…

I started noticing a couple of months ago that every news photo caption we had from the running of the bulls in Pamplona contained the word revellers, even when folks were about to revel under a bull’s hoofprint stamped on their faces.

I did a caption search and found 200 shots of revellers from the past 90 days, mostly of people wallowing in mud, beer, foam, wine, sweat and worse. I don’t know, but it seems to me revelry was more fun back when you didn’t have to be hosed off afterwards.

Revellers wrestle in chocolate during the one-week, round-the-clock Sziget (’Island’) Music Festival on an island in the Danube river, in Budapest August 13, 2007. REUTERS/Laszlo Balogh

Blog Guy, recently you told about some people who go jousting for sport, but their concept was disappointing.

Have you found anyplace else were real armor enthusiasts can go to use their lance a lot?

You bet. Try Ukraine, where this time of year you’d swear it’s still the 14th century. We have a video report on the action, and you can see they mean business - one knight even takes off his helmet to show us the dents.

Um, he takes off his helmet?

D’oh! Paul Chapman reports:

Quick quiz: mayonnaise is a common ingredient in…

a) a margarita cocktail
b) spaghetti
c) fondue
d) pancakes

Sorry, this was sort of a trick question. We’ll accept “none of the above” if you’re a regular human being, or “all of the above” if you’re a “mayoler” - a mayonnaise-obsessed fanatic in Japan.  So, settle back, mix yourself up a very dry “mayotini,” dunk your doughnut in a family-size jar of Hellmann’s, and read Yoko Nishikawa’s report:

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“Mayoty Dog”, which tastes like the vodka-based cocktail Salty Dog but is served in a glass with mayonnaise on its rim instead of salt, is pictured at the “Mayonnaise Kitchen” restaurant in western Tokyo, August 9, 2007.  REUTERS/Michael Caronna

When I was growing up back in Indiana, we had a few firm rules in our home. No eating candy in the morning, always make your bed, and never put a live cobra head-first into your mouth. My sister did that once, and let me tell you, our mama wouldn’t let us play in the snake drawer again for a month!

This is why I was so shocked to see this photo. Hasn’t anyone ever told him that cobras do not work well for flossing, or that when a cobra and a human tongue go up against each other, it always ends up pretty much the same way?

Well, that’s where flouting the rules will get you. I’ll bet he doesn’t make his bed, either.

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Snake charmer Sajal Biswas puts the head of a cobra into his mouth at a roadside in Agartala, capital of India’s northeastern state of Tripura, August 8, 2007. REUTERS/Jayanta Dey

Okay, this is a no-brainer. It turns out Chinese police arrested three traffickers who tried to smuggle 12 teenagers out of the country by passing them off as martial arts performers from the famed Shaolin Temple. You know, the guys who do impossible stuff like the man in this recent posting, the amazing stuff you see on TV and in the movies.

I mean, it may be easy to pass yourself off as a dentist or a florist, but let’s all put our heads together and see if we can imagine a way to spot dudes who are dimwitted enough to claim to be Shaolin martial arts performers.

“Okay boys, listen up! Nobody leaves here until the back of their head touches both their ankles. Then we’ve got the pitchfork test, the very big headache test, and the walking up the 16-foot wall test. If you pass all those, bon voyage.” Here’s the story:

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A Chinese Shaolin monk performs during a show in southwest China’s Chongqing municipality June 22, 2007. REUTERS/Stringer

Chad Ruble is back from his fancy vacation today, with a nice collection of odd video stories about things that actually happened recently, instead of those old leftover clips we’ve been watching.

This week, meet a bunch of sweaty people, a guy who rides a pogo stick under water, and the mysterious giant Lego Man. You can’t get quality material like this anywhere else. Here’s Chad:

Blog guy, I’ve been reading your advice about things such as belly dancing, contortionism, snake handling, voluntary mutilation and other respected careers, and I’m wondering if you could suggest some areas of study that I might not have considered?

Have you thought about the field of competitive beauty pageantry? We have some photos from a “school” in Bolivia that prepares young women for a long and rewarding career of tiara-wearing. If you can smile for no reason whatsoever, and your name ends in an “i” even though it probably shouldn’t - Bambi, Brandi, Randi, Candi, etc. - you may have royal potential. Think about it.

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Models receive instruction in etiquette from a teacher at Producciones Gloria beauty school in Santa Cruz August 8, 2007. Producciones Gloria is Bolivia’s leading school for beauty contestants and models, and prepares girls from Paraguay as well. REUTERS/David Mercado

There are a number of claims that we should immediately view with major suspicion. Stuff like, “The check is in the mail,” “We’re from the government and we’re here to help you,” and others I can’t print here. Well, I have one to add to the list: “Oh, get closer, that crocodile is very gentle.” Sure thing, buddy.

There is this zoo where visitors are encouraged to play with the crocodiles, and we have a video report on it. A guy explains that the crocs are gentle because the zoo plays Buddhist prayers every day. Well, how do we know some of these reptiles aren’t just atheists pretending to be Buddhists, until some juicy sucker like me sticks his arm in their mouth?

Anyway, I’m also adding this zoo to my short list of places where you won’t find me vacationing. For the top spot on that list, see a popular posting I did just a few months ago: You must be joking tourist site opens. Sonia Legg reports on the zoo:

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Anybody in advertising will tell you, do what you can to hook the customer. Now, take this watermelon salesman in the picture. I’ll bet buyers flock to him, because he’s got an act.

“Judy, we’re not getting our fruit from those other guys with no melons on their heads, and not even from that fella with only one melon. No, we’re doing business with the one who can balance two melons, until somebody comes along who can do three…”

Of course, maybe it’s all just a sad trick. What if that’s just a very elaborate haircut, or he has a spike through the melons, or what if they’re some of those fancy helium melons we’ve all read about? All we know for certain about this dude is, he arrives at the market looking like this, in a car with an open sunroof. Hmmmm…..

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A Palestinian vendor balances watermelons on his head to attract customers in the West Bank city of Ramallah July 30, 2007. REUTERS/Loay Abu Haykel

A slogan among serious Internet hackers says that “information wants to be free.” A sentiment among some folks holds that fudge wants to be free, as well.

A woman was charged with burglary after police said she made a late-night raid on a fudge shop and escaped with as much fudge as she could carry.

According to the Washington Post, police who questioned her at a nearby hotel noticed that she had huge amounts of fudge stuffed in her pockets. Like, if that’s a crime, they might as well come and get me, too. But anyway, the story said the thief apparently tried to get rid of the loot by flushing it in a restroom, clogging a toilet in the process. It occurs to me that determining the toilet was clogged by rocky road fudge instead of, you know, the usual, is about the least glamorous police job I’ve heard about in a long time. Lindsay Claiborn reports: