So many images come to mind. Homer Simpson. The promise of a deep heat massage…

It seems there is a very slight problem with some massage chairs sold in December and January: they could catch on fire. The makers quickly add that it will only happen in rare cases, so no need to worry about hundreds of relaxing fathers getting the surprise of their lives. 

But anyway, thousands of them have been recalled, so you may want to read the story to find out whether Dad’s big Christmas gift has more in common with a prison electric chair than you may have intended. Here is the story:

Oddly Enough Blog 

The EP3510 massage chair in an image released by Matsushita Electric Works on January 31, 2007. REUTERS/Matsushita Electric Works/Handout

You’d think you would be safe from rampaging visitors if you live in the Shetland Islands, in remote northern Scotland. But once a year, in a celebration called Up Helly-Aa, the Vikings take over, do some drinking, some marauding some more drinking, and wind up torching a Viking boat.

The festival is held on the last Tuesday of January, which this year was yesterday, and we were there to shoot it. 

While our photos seem to dwell on torch-bearing, boat-burning, axe-waving Viking marauders, a number of accounts of the event in past years also stress the large number of men wearing female attire, to such an extent that it has been dubbed “Transvestite Tuesday.” Where are the Monty Python folks when you need them? 

Oddly Enough Blog   

The first Viking stoves? Jarl Squad Vikings march while carrying lit torches to set fire to a Viking longboat during the Up Helly Aa festival in Lerwick, the Shetland Islands, northern Scotland, January 30, 2007. REUTERS/David Moir

And people say bloggers are snarky.

The New York Times and Los Angeles Times, winners of countless journalism awards, engaged in some cattiness over Dean Baquet, the former editor of the Los Angeles Times fired for refusing to cut newsroom jobs.

Effective March 5, he is returning to the New York Times, his former paper, to serve as its new Washington bureau chief.

“Back in 2005, when Dean moved into the top job in Los Angeles, I described him as ‘a world-class investigator, an inspiring editor and a barrel of fun.’ It was hard to miss the subtext: ‘And I miss him,’” New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller told staff in a memo today.

Keller calls his new bureau chief a “charismatic leader” and “cool character.”

He goes past the happy talk in  an interview in his own paper: “Asked if there were any trepidation on his part in hiring someone who had defied management before, Mr. Keller grinned. ‘On my part? Are you kidding? Standing up to Tribune only adds to his luster.’ But, he added: ‘I’m sure Dean is going to find the executives of this paper much more supportive of good journalism than the Tribune Company.’”

L.A. Times Washington bureau chief Doyle McManus fired back in a memo to staffers today. How can they compete with the New York Times now that it has the great Baquet, he asks: “To be low-minded about it, well, it will still be the NY Times, still encumbered by that paper’s institutional weaknesses and still, even with Dean on the premises, an often unpleasant place to work.”

“To be more concise about it — and to quote one of our most incisive newsroom philosophers — we’ll just go out and kick their ass. We’ve done it before; we can do it again. In fact, it should be fun.”

Meow.

(Photo: The New York Times)

Dear Blog Guy,
I need to lose a few pounds, and I’m looking for a good sport to get involved in. Do you have any tips?
Eager to Compete

Yes, Eager, I have some tips. Avoid sports with names like extreme, mountain, insane, death, wolverine, and tough guy. This video clip, for instance, shows what you may encounter in the tough guy category. The winner is speaking English, and we still need subtitles. Not a good sign.

This is number six in our series of reports on life in other galaxies.

I could lie and tell you I know what’s going on here, but I don’t. There’s a guy with a skull-face and red hair, and some dudes wearing tall funny hats, with copper bells on their backs, carrying horse tails…. Some of you science fantasy buffs are going to have to explain the rest, via Post a Comment.

“Joaldunak” carnival revellers wearing big copper bells on their backs and carrying horse tails in their hands watch another carnival reveller on a bicycle during a traditional carnival celebration in Zubieta, in the northern Spanish region of Navarra, January 29, 2007. REUTERS/Susana Vera

Even though it isn’t quite the end of the month, I’m going to announce the winners of the Dumbest Criminals competition for January. Before you other dumb criminals say that’s unfair and start complaining, listen to this.

It seems these two guys kidnapped a woman and sent her into a bank with orders to withdraw money. So far, that’s a fairly standard crime. But here’s where the Olympic Gold Medal dumbness come in, as reported by WSB-TV, in Atlanta.

The kidnappers sent her into the bank alone, and while she was supposed to be getting the money, they went next door to a Chick-Fil-A outlet for a chicken snack. Here’s the story, courtesy of wsbtv.com:

Even if you’re tired of endless surveys, this one is worth a look. According to a new one in South Korea, gangsters get more satisfaction from their line of work than the police do.

Oh, and did I mention that the gangsters who were surveyed were in JAIL?

That’s right.  The guys sitting in prison were happier than the guys who put them there. It turns out, 79.3 percent of gangsters said they were somewhat or very satisfied with their life in organized crime, compared with about 65 percent of police.  

No word on how happy the gangsters are who are NOT in jail. Here is the story: 

What’s not to like? Police block protesters who were attempting to hold a rally in Seoul November 29, 2006. REUTERS/Lee Jae-Won

A few days ago, someone commented to a post I wrote on the parties at Sundance, questioning whether anybody saw or cared about Sundance movies. It was the middle of the festival, and I didn’t have a chance to answer. Another responder did, however, point out this year’s best Oscar nominee “Little Miss Sunshine” was a Sundance 2005 film.

The domestic box office for “Sunshine” was nearly $60 million, so a lot of people did see that one. There are many other recent examples, too, including ”Napoleon Dynamite” ($44 million domestic box office in 2004) “Garden State” ($27 million domestic in 2004).

Those are not big Hollywood numbers; they are not $100 million plus. But for independent films that cost less than $5 million, it’s a great return on investment. With the average ticket just over $6.00, “Little Miss Sunshine” probably attracted about 10 million people to the theaters. Thousands, perhaps millions, more will see it on DVD, pay-per-view television, in airplanes and at other specialty venues.

But forget about numbers for a moment. Think about directors who either got their start — or a major career boost — at Sundance. There was Steven Soderbergh with “sex, lies, and videotape” (1989), Kevin Smith “Clerks” (1994), Christopher Nolan “Memento” (2001). Whether you like their movies or not, those directors are all industry forces to be reckoned with, both inside and outside Hollywood.

Look for a minute at moviemaking styles. For Sundance 2003, directors Shari Springer Bergman and Robert Pulcini created “American Splendor,” a fictional film starring Paul Giamatti as comic book writer Harvey Pekar in the film about Pekar’s life. The interesting thing was, Pekar also appeared in the film playing himself and giving “talking head” interviews about his work. “American Splendor” blurred the old lines between what is a documentary and what is a fictional feature film.

Since then, filmmakers have continued to make audiences think differently about the boundaries between non-fiction and fiction filmmaking, and the result has been some fascinating films. Without that movement in film style, would a director like Paul Greengrass have been successful in getting “United 93″ produced and distributed. What about Stephen Frears with “The Queen?”

Say what you will about big parties and Hollywood stars at the festival, the fact remains Sundance is an incubator for emerging talent. And people who care about cinema, care about talent.
   

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer talked to Reuters on Monday ahead of the consumer launch of Windows Vista, the latest version of its dominant computer operating system.

Ballmer also shared his views on the success of Microsoft’s iPod killer, the Zune, the competitive landscape for PC operating systems; and what life will be like once Bill Gates steps out of day-to-day operations in 2008.

Read Reuters coverage here.

Reuters: What can you say about the Zune digital music player?
Ballmer: Zune is doing about how I had expected. We only compete at the $249 price point, the video price point, and we took maybe 20 percent share at that price point this Christmas. We got in the market, we took some share, we established a position. Apple is the still the market leader and that’s not going to change in the very short term. But I do think we have proven this is something we can do and we can do well. The heat is on, so to speak.

Reuters: Bill Gates, Microsoft’s co-founder, steps down as Chairman next year. How are you gearing up for that day?
Ballmer: I don’t think it’s appropriate to think of it as a cataclysmic change. Bill and I have been partners in running the business 27 years now. It would be unusual to say “Well, Bill’s part time now, I think we will go in a completely different direction.” Our company continues to evolve, and will continue to evolve. In a sense I’d say things are always changing. From a leadership management philosophy perspective, I would expect you to see things as fairly continuous.

Reuters: Apple stole some of the thunder from the Consumer Electronic Show, by launching the iPhone at MacWorld at the same time. Any concern that Apple’s new operating system will overshadow Windows Vista?
Ballmer: We push ourselves to do our best work. Apple pushed itself to do its best work. But if you look in the market, they sell maybe 3-4, 5 million Macs a years — PCs sell over 200 million a year. Sure we need to challenge ourselves to be the best we can be. The truth is our basic model makes more sense. We enable more hardware innovation, we enable more software innovation. Maybe they go from 3-4 percent player to 4-1/2 percent player. If you take a look at it now with the Vista UI (user interface), I think it’s better than anything Apple has to offer.

Reuters: What’s the upgrade plan in the Ballmer home?
Ballmer: I did have to tell my wife (who wanted new computers) “Why don’t we wait.” We haven’t gotten any since 2003. I said we’ll just wait, we’ll get a Vista. I’m going to upgrade the two we have. She said “ok, but I want them here the day they ship!”

(Photo: Reuters)

You know that spam you get from West Africa offering to share $400 million with you if you’ll just let some guy park the money in your bank account for a day?

Come on, you know what I’m talking about.

Well, the people who would fall for that scam, do you ever wonder what they might drink when they’re thirsty?

Katie Juhl reports: